...

Hey there all. I had weird dreams last night and I'm in a weird mood this morning. I want to make art but I'm scared I'll be dissapointed in how it turns out. I especially wanna try drawing mecha but it feels like every time I do all that comes out is nonsense. I find it really hard to be proud of anything I'm doing these days. My therapist told me I feel misunderstood so often that I miss when I am being understood and take it for granted. They're probably right but god isn't it easier to pretend that nobody really "gets it" so I can feel smarter while simultaneously being helpless and not doing anything to better myself?? Maybe that's a lazy approach but it saves energy so I can focus on what matters to me.

My fwb keeps trying to convince me to watch Vaush but god I don't want to. I'd genuinely rather listen to a republican than a faux leftist who uses trans rights to act like such an absolute idiot. The more time goes on the more I think cis people are just deserving of a genocide. What are trannies meant to do when we cannot even whisper without a cis person feeling like they're being screamed at. I feel like my fwb is kind of a centrist in that regard, she has too much sympathy for the flaws of cis people. It makes me sick because I know it'll get her hurt someday and I don't know how to protect her from that. It's scary.

Here's a fluttershy I drew yesterday in the meantime! I'm not proud of it but at least I don't hate it.